Search Me

A few days ago I returned home from a week away visiting family. The two-hour flight went by quickly and without incident. We even landed a little ahead of schedule.

Once through the jetway and out into the customs area, I estimated it would only take about fifteen to twenty minutes to go through customs and baggage claim. Then I'd be on my way home.

Backup...I found myself having to add one more step to the process - baggage search (I'm sure there's a more technical term for this process). I was totally expecting to get the all clear from the customs officer. Instead, I found myself being told to go see security personnel who then proceeded to go through my luggage as they simultaneously asked me all kinds of questions regarding my identity and vacation. This took about an extra ten minutes or so and then I was finally on my way.

This experience made me think of God's word to me in Psalm 139 (NIV):


1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

The Message translation of this passage refers to God "investigating" my life, getting "all the facts firsthand" and "getting a clear picture of what I'm about". This could very well suffice as a good job description for the airport security employee who searched me. It was her job to make sure there wasn't "any offensive way in me". David's prayer is that God would search his heart to reveal the same.

Trust me, I didn't pray to be searched at the airport (I think, if anything, my prayer from now on should be "please Lord, don't let me be searched"! :)). However, this most recent airport experience challenged me to think more about how I should be praying for God to search the deepest places of my heart.

In today's world of distraction overload, it doesn't take much to miss what God wants to show me. I can use this as an easy excuse. However, maybe what I should really be revisiting is my vulnerability. I certainly felt completely exposed as each article in my luggage was carefully searched. When it comes to my God, am I the same way? Do I allow enough space for God to enter in? Do I wholeheartedly trust him with the big, bad and the ugly, in my life, called brokenness? These are questions with which I wrestle but it only makes sense that I should be more diligently seeking the guidance of and letting in the one who knows me the very best, my awesome Creator and Saviour! Afterall, the purpose of being searched is to ensure security. Why would I not want to be searched by the One in whom exists my ulimate, unwavering and unending security?